#712: Youthful numpties and sympathetic crackpots
Plus: our very first OFFLINE recommendations
Hi, hello!, and happy weekend. You’re reading the Saturday edition of Links I Would Gchat You If We Were Friends: a lovingly curated collection of brand-new writing on internet culture and technology, culled from the hundreds of RSS feeds I read each week for this ~express~ purpose. Last week, I screened <3,765 links, plus dozens of newsletters. Alas, neither the White House nor the country’s political machine seem to rank me among their favored influencers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A reminder: I’m able to write this newsletter twice a week thanks to my generous (and *beloved*) paid subscribers. Your support gives me the financial — but also, emotional? spiritual??? — security to keep reading and writing deeply about life online. I’m not exactly getting rich off Substack, but this newsletter is a big part of how I pay my bills. So if a month of delicious human-generated Links brings you more joy than a disgusting AI-generated cookbook … please consider upgrading your subscription. And thanks!
If you read anything this weekend
“The Gymnastics World Braces for an AI Future,” by Dvora Meyers for The Verge. Like many otherwise casual, quadrennial fans of Olympic sport, I currently find myself in the throes of an intense gymnastics fascination. What are the physics of those flips? Why don’t the men have to dance around? Most importantly — and bafflingly, in many cases — what separates a 13.6 routine from, say, a 13.7? Since 2015, a company called Fujitsu has sought to address that last question through an AI tool called the "Judging Support System," which uses strategically placed cameras to capture gymnasts' movements, create 3D models and identify whether each routine’s elements meet the parameters set by judges. But like so many costly and questionably effective AI tools, JSS seems very much like a solution in search of a problem: It doesn’t do much more than instant-replays do, and its creators are now looking to market the tech as a gymnastics training aid or … a tool for theft prevention.
“OnlyFans’ Porn Juggernaut Fueled By a Deception,” by Andrew R.C. Marshall, Jason Szep and Linda So for Reuters. Having read so many romance scam stories over the past month, I came to this investigation of OnlyFans “chatters” wondering to what degree this qualified as one. Chatters — often low-wage contract workers in countries like the Philippines — impersonate OnlyFans models in one-on-one chats with their fans. On one hand: Those fans are receiving a product or service, unlike the victims of most romance scams. On the other: Some of these men believe, tragically!, that they’re in actual relationships with OnlyFans models who have … maybe never spoken to them.
“Racked by Pain and Enraptured by a Right-Wing Miracle Cure,” by Eli Saslow for The New York Times. Only Saslow could trawl the depths of a far-right forum — populated by election deniers, anti-vaxxers and crackpots of all sorts — and end up with an empathetic, humanizing profile of one of its more vocal members. For me, this story was a (humbling) reminder that even people with pretty noxious views can have good human reasons for holding them: In Michael Chesebro’s case, he became disillusioned with the U.S. government and mainstream medicine after undergoing 42 surgeries and struggling to access care in the VA system.
Four stories on new-ish alternatives to the much-despised dating apps. “Dating apps expose the tenets of modern life that have become unbearable,” Sarah Thankam Mathews writes in Harper’s Bazaar, echoing the (near-universal?) view that technology made modern courtship a soulless, shitty slog. Daters are proposing some alternatives, among them, just logging off. Some singles have also DIYed their own dating platforms, moved to specialized apps and pitched new paradigms, like a matchmaking tool that pairs daters for online gameplay.
“British Slang Might Not Be the Dog’s Bollocks Much Longer,” by James Hookway for The Wall Street Journal. The digital atomization of popular culture has reportedly claimed a new casualty: British youth no longer use fabulous words like “blighter,” “twaddle” and “numpty.” I’m curious what Brits make of this: Were these terms generational, themselves? And did Gen Zs really mainstream “platty jubes?” (If so, I mean — I don’t hate it.)
In case you missed it
The most-clicked link from last Saturday’s edition was that damning Ballerina Farm profile, because what else would it possibly by? Hannah Neeleman has since said in a reel that she is not “oppressed,” which … may very well be true, but does not sound convincing.
On Wednesday, I reviewed both the first three months of Links AND a deeply mediocre Substack happy hour. I also announced some fun new benefits for paid subscribers, including weekly culture recs (!!) and laptop stickers.
Postscripts
One million screenshots. Tech bro glow-ups. TikTok’s favorite agony aunt. AI clickbait comes for America’s alt-weeklies and influencers come for organized religion. How social media revived tinned fish. The internet’s most polarizing parenting debate. Women, to my mild surprise, are also seeking AI “dates.”
“They go low, we go side-eye.” The rise of “the broletariat” pro-tech media. Millions of people still play Candy Crush. A handful (?) of people bought AI slop sofas. The shitpost election. Amazon’s rural routes. Powerpoint parties are not … new?? Last but not least, a running list of the Olympic’s standout main characters: “muffin man” Henrik Christiansen (relatable!), rugby star Ilona Maher (INTENSE, funny, cool), bespectacled pommeler Stephen Nedoroscik (also: his girlfriend from high school), pregnant fencer Nada Hafez (absolute badass, 10/10), South Korean sharpshooter Kim Yeji (also a badass, but futuristic) and Italian gymnast Giorgia Villa (gold medal for best sponsorship).
BELOW the paywall you’ll also find:
Unlocked links from the The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Atlantic
A pint-sized Amtrak travelogue
A cathartic book, a perfect snack and a very surprising true-crime pod
That’s it for this week! Until the next one. Warmest virtual regards,
Caitlin
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