Dreaming in praise-hands

Who declared this Get-Your-Shit-Together Day without informing me?? Google's cracking down on janky websites, Facebook's fixing the News Feed ... even Twitter's making some feeble effort at accountability!! Had I realized the occasion, I might've sent this out on time today. Oh well, that ship has sailed. Let's do this anyway...

1. How to make $2.4 million from one tweet. Step 1: Build a bot that reads news on Twitter. Step 2: Have it buy stocks when it hears about buzzy companies. Step 3: Profit? That's how this new bot works -- we *think.*

2. Yes, it's possible to think in emoji. If you've ever found yourself dreaming in praise-hands, never fear: You're not crazy! Linguists say this is pretty natural -- even more than writing, maybe.

3. The wearable tech no one's wearing yet. Think dresses embedded with LEDs and programmable clothing that displays your tweets.

I ain't worried bout you I'm just tryna do me

Pocketable: Inside a Filipino click factory. (5700 words/23 minutes)

Postscripts: The Taj Mahal is toast. This crazy cat lady's insane. "Zuckerberg fan fiction" sounds kinda lame. How to empty your inbox and your Netflix queue. You're an idiot online, but this app can save you! Emoji translations, emoji locations -- has no one else tired of these damn things? I miss those distant, halcyon days when we threw retirements for our machines. ☺☺

Until tomorrow!
@caitlindewey

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