EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

More than 2.34 million self-hating people apparently still use dial-up, a number that, for the record, exceeds (a) the views on this amazing video of pugs tilting their heads and (b) the population of America's coolest city. What is going on in the world?! Nothing makes sense. I assume AOL's hold-out subscribers are latter-day hipsters or nostalgics who really like the modem noise. I mean, who can blame them. eeeee. EEEEE. ber-der, ber-der, ber-der. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

... now the links.

1. One contributor to the immigration crisis you haven't heard about? Facebook. Smugglers use the network to advertise their services. Migrants stop at Internet cafes to let family know they're alright. Perhaps most importantly, would-be migrants use the site to talk to talk to people who went before them -- and determine if the trip is worth attempting.

2. Justice in the age of the iPhone video. Smartphone films of assaults and other crimes have served up clues for investigators and helped catch wrongdoers. But maybe there's a downside to all those cameras, too. "The proliferation of those videos can have a numbing effect ... they seem at once urgent and very far away."

3. Tickets are the new reservations. Forget OpenTable, you guys. The really cool restaurants are straight-up charging for admission.

Seriously, how great are these pugs?

Pocketable: "I write this with a baseball bat by the bed." (4153 words/17 minutes)

Postscripts: Slug solos. Sushi nails. Twitter psychosis. Pizzacore. Confessions of a Magnolia Cupcake bouncer and confessions of Buzzfeed's (awesome) founding editor. How to stop fighting on Facebook. How to Internet when you're stoned. #YesAllCelebrities. #NotAllHashtags. Man I can't even anymore.

Until tomorrow!
@caitlindewey

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