I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

The selfie economy is BOOMING, and some people are cashing in! Other people are whining that selfies cause deaths, which is both silly and grim. A photo can't kill you, you guys, even one you take of yourself. We're not living in a lame horror movie, as far as I can tell...

1. Esquire famously profiled Frank Sinatra from a distance in '66. Forty years later, the magazine's given Mark Zuckerberg the same treatment. Where the Sinatra stunt was born of circumstance, though, this one's far more emblematic: Thanks to Zuck, we can all be studied and profiled at a comfortable distance.

2. Can tech take back the porn industry? (Did you even know it was taken away?) There are a group of techies and entrepreneurs concerned about this, I learned today! Thanks to piracy and content restrictions, the paid porn industry's having a hard time. Which means it's fallen to some odd futurologists to keep it online.

3. Yet more proof that everything on the Internet is fake! As much as 20 percent of Internet traffic comes from bots, and their makers are making bank.

#squadgoals

Postscripts: 9 Wikihow articles on stupidly simple topics. 5 good (?) ways to approach an online date. What's really happening in those artsy Instagrams and what's the Internet's physical shape. Instagramming depression; Netflixing addiction. Martha Stewart's cats are living their best lives. Silicon Valley isn't actually there, to my endless East Coast surprise. Why do we still call them "phones"? Why are Disney movie parents always missing or dead? Would you like to make a replica of Donald Trump's hollow head? Last but not least, the perfect punchline AND, often, Internet sin: "I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

See ya tomorrow!
@caitlindewey

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