I will NEVER jeopardize the beans
And other wholesome digital distractions
There is NO PRODUCTIVITY in a pandemic. This is my new mantra. It is also my excuse for sending this just once a week — not what I promised, but we have bigger problems!
For instance: Are all of our friends hanging out online without us?? (I love when IRL anxieties invade virtual settings!) Or: Are giant pandas having more/better quarantine sex? (Who knows! Probably?) These are questions I will leave you to ponder in the quiet or the chaos of your personal self-isolation. UNTIL then, let’s hit the links for some good old-fashioned distraction …
What’s your guess for the world’s best-paying, most pandemic-proof profession? Clue: Your high school guidance counselor never floated the option.
The rise (and rise) of Animal Crossing, a game meant for this moment. It may not have a point, per se, but we could all probably use a little “womblike coziness.”
“The novel coronavirus pandemic … has fundamentally altered the way people deal with death.” This includes the morbid and fascinating subculture of people who collect and obsess over online obits.
Amazon self-publishing, still a hotbed for white supremacy! Somehow Amazon, alone among the tech giants?, has not realized the inevitable consequences of an “anything-goes approach” to publishing.
The same issue that (almost) caused Y2K is now blocking thousands from unemployment benefits. A fascinating look at an outdated, somehow ubiquitous (!!), 60-year-old programming language.
Postscripts: Virtual beer pong. FaceTime fashion. Quarantine concerts. (I know you’ve already seen this one, but gahhh — so great it hurts.) The math teachers of TikTok. The barbers of video chat. How your Google searches could predict a pandemic and your Facebook data could track it.
This is not the Tiger King take we wanted, but damn if it isn’t *good* and true. Pour one out for the 30-year-old retirees and the beleaguered executives at Zoom. Saff speaks; priests stream; some Instacart users prove that evil exists. Will Airbnb survive Covid-19? (I mean, I’m kinda into these new “experiences.”)
Why conspiracy theories flourish in a pandemic (and who’s profiting from them). How a “loose, headless network of media personalities” spread Covid disinformation. The Appointment Internet. The sites we surf in quarantine. “I will NEVER jeopardize the beans,” she says. Finally: the science behind that viral coffee drink you’ve all been ‘gramming and a helpful explanation of the aspiring “new Netflix.”
That’s it for now. Stay safe & sane out (in?) there. And as always, if you liked this, please forward to a friend.
— caitlin