I would never violate a pancake like that.

The theme of today’s newsletter will be “LOL.” I moved my desk to the Style section today, which has totally upended my world, so I could use some laughs. Also today is Friday and this is the Internet. If we can’t talk about kids having sex with Hot Pockets here, where can we talk about it? On that note:
1. This young man had sex with a Hot Pocket. We won’t go into the logistics of how it happened or whether the term “having sex” technically applies, but he gave an interview to First We Feast and it (a) is a comedic masterpiece (b) provides a horrifying look into the raw desperation of Vine/Youtube celebrity and (c) contains this apparently sincere line: "I would never violate a pancake like that." Must-read stuff TBH.
2. R.I.P., rom-com. There was not a single romantic comedy in the top 100 films this year. It’s complicated, but just go with it -- this is what women want. (Self-congratulatory note: The previous sentence was composed entirely of puns.)
3. Imagine if “Fight Club” were run by some saber-wielding, cosplay type who wishes he could live in Game of Thrones. You basically get this.

TGIF y'all! (Also if you're getting your Scandal recaps from anyone but this girl then you are doing it all wrong.)
Postscripts: “The best time I married my gay best friend in Vegas.” British people do not get American food. iPad injuries. Saudi Arabian Uber. Programming note: The Oscars are Sunday! And these two lil accountants are the only ones who know who won.
Until Monday, @caitlindewey
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