If this is the future, count me out.
Did y’all file your taxes yet? If yes, good job, you get a cookie. If no, you have all of eight hours to do it. Maybe this explainer on tax returns ~AS TOLD BY PEEPS~ will rev you up. If not, I can’t help you. To the links!
1. AIM is apparently still a thing. The Internet’s most nostalgia-tinged instant-messenger was an accidental success and a frequent thorn in AOL’s side. Now it’s a ghost town, though you can evidently still log in somewhere. (How? Where? Let's make this happen!) More on Instant Messenger’s rise and fall.
2. The future of dating ... as only McSweeney’s could imagine it. “The attractiveness of the soulmate you’re assigned will be proportional to the number of advertisements you agree to watch first. During the actual date, you’ll receive constant real-time dating advice generated by machine-learning algorithms. Your household appliances will tweet constantly about your relationship status.” If this is the future, count me out.
3. Meet the lawyer questing for revenge porn laws. She’s tough, she’s cool, she fights Krav Maga (?!), and she’s here to protect your nudes.
Uhhh I can't even with this kid, you guys.
Postscripts: “Bud and breakfast.” “The Foodroom.” Mobile lovers. TL;DR: art. A short history of holy wine and a weird history of everyone’s favorite Thai food. Here’s how to deal drugs, according to Amazon. Here’s how not to protest, according to me. Cupcakes are dead. K-Cup oatmeal is live. Nicholas Cage is, well, Nicholas Cage. What is a website? Do RTs = endorsements? Bad news, 25-year-olds: You’re literally (welp!) past your peak.
Until tomorrow,
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