“Internet is coming!”

Another day, another scandal intent to wither your faith in America/humanity. I came back from vacation for this?! Le sigh. Anyway...
1. “The internet is full of noise. It’s a sustained drone of voices. The big work fights hard to yell over the drone—it maximizes and optimizes so that it can be found. It learns which buttons to push on people to get them to pay attention. One sits and strategizes their way to find more eyes on the internet. One plots to keep those eyes on her or himself for as long as possible. People write books on the subject. Companies hire consultants. Everyone tries. Most people fail.” Then sometimes there’s someone who never tried -- but succeeded!
2. Imagine if everybody you knew could anonymously broadcast the meanest things they ever thought. That’s what the gossip app Yik Yak did for a public high school in Connecticut. The high-schooler who wrote this piece -- and many of his classmates! -- are still recovering.
3. How to fake your own death using IFTTT. Because that sounds like a worthwhile waste of an afternoon.

Yep, that’s a seal gettin’ a belly rub. (H/T Abe Brown. Ladies, he’s single.)
Postscripts: Crowdsourcing the midwest. Coffeepot cooking. How beer could save bookstores and how physics could save ketchup. Are sweatpants ever okay? Are flash mobs ever illegal? “Internet is coming!” (Sound the alarms!)
Until tomorrow, @caitlindewey
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