Is Al Gore ... God?

Even The Onion could not have envisioned a better Biebs arrest: Drag racing, drunk and high and without a valid license, in a Lambourghini, in Florida. It’s no wonder the Internet spent most of today photoshopping Justin Bieber’s mugshot and wondering when, exactly, the U.S. will tire of this nonsense and ship him back to Canada. But since we’re all pretending to be above the tabloid gossip ...
1. The Internet makes everything faster. Sending a message! Stalking an old friend! Googling Bieber’s mugshot surreptitiously at work! There may actually be some problems with this life in the fast lane, though. Like: if everything moves faster, why do we have so little time?
2. Hunter Moore, the "most-hated man on the Internet" and all-around repugnant human, has been indicted by the U.S. attorney on various computer charges. This is good news, of course, but also a reminder that revenge porn should be a crime in and of itself.
3. That unbelievable study about Facebook losing 80 percent of its audience is indeed unbelievable. Thank you Will Oremus, you have done us all a service.

Curling is the best sport. Debate.
Postscripts: Edible fireworks/inedible cheese. Stream the “Her” soundtrack and thank me later. Conclusive proof that you should never walk and text. Here are the stories behind (a) Planet Hilary and (b) @historyinpics. Adorable old people. Dreadful CNN tweet. If God made the Internet, is Al Gore ... God?
Until tomorrow, @caitlindewey
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