People, calm down. It's only meat loaf.

The Internet is sooo predictable. How predictable, you ask? Predictable enough that you can, literally, right at this moment, forecast the exact electoral counts for the 2016 elections. So predictable that we had not even gotten amped about the Supermoon photos before Matt Novak debunked them. So veryyy predictable, in fact, that I had to bust out Bright Eyes lyrics to adequately express my despair over the whole repetitive senseless thing -- something I have not resorted to since approx. age 15. Anyway, slow news week is slow. Let's go to the links!

1. Sverker Johansson is the most prolific author you've never heard of. The 53-year-old Swede is responsible for nearly nine (!) percent of the Wikipedia canon -- or roughly 2.7 million articles. He's not acting alone, though: Johansson built a bot to scrape the web and package it into articles, which is, it turns out, a surprisingly contentious move.
2. Meet the guy who wants to give you free Internet. His name is Kosta Grammatis, he once worked as a SpaceX engineer, and he's 110% convinced that free Internet could save the world.
3. Lessons from the "Viking Facebook." Okay, okay, the Vikings did not have Facebook. They did, however, have a great many Sagas, capital S, to which folklorists and computer scientists are just starting to apply network theory. The results: Lots of insights on what makes good fiction, and several unintentionally funny charts.

Go home crab, yr drunk.
Pocketable: Larry is *easily* the most useless and irritating character on Orange Is The New Black, which is why I will hate-read the hell out of his tell-all on Medium. (10,264 words/41 minutes)
Postscripts: Craigslist for rich people. DNA for lovers. Word crimes. Weird shit. Grumpy Cat's "Guide to Life." Why smartphone breaks are a good idea and what music you'll like six months from now. Social media's not the enemy. Clickbait probably is. Can you actually die from a broken heart? (Yep, pretty sure I just did.) Today, in things that are toast: selfies, phone books, White House interns. "People, calm down. It's only meat loaf."
Until tomorrow!@caitlindewey
Do you like this newsletter? Please send it to a friend! If you don't like this newsletter, please send it to an enemy.