Shame is the ultimate algorithm.

Do you guys wanna feel antiquated? As of today -- that’d be May 6, 2014 -- Friends has been off the air 10 years. Ten years! And the “Now That’s What I Call Music” series, beloved by ‘90s kids everywhere, is on its 50th edition. Is my youth fading into a 20th-century fog? Is this what it feels like to be one of the olds? Someday soon, I fear, a cool new app will come on the market and I’ll have to ask an intern to explain it to me. Don’t judge me too harshly, theoretical future intern. I was young once too. Onward!

1. #BringBackOurGirls is the new #Kony2012 … except this particular bit of “slacktivisim” might, maybe possibly, work. The hashtag, launched in Nigeria in late April, has earned nearly 1 million tweets. It’s also drawn a whole lot of international media attention, which is more than can be said of the original kidnapping.

2. Lacey Spears is a prolific blogger, a pathological liar -- and a suspect in her five-year-old son’s murder. For years, Spears entranced readers with accounts of her young son’s illness. But now that the boy is dead, police fear she may have caused the sickness herself in order to gain the sympathy of the online masses.

3. This is how the “trigger warning” took over the Internet. (But to paraphrase Susannah Breslin, isn’t the Internet itself a trigger warning…?)

Ugh allergy season is the WORST you guys.

Pocketables: A long and surprisingly contested history of chicken tikka masala. (Mm, chicken tikka masala. 2468 words/10 minutes)

Postscripts: Wet dogs. Professional snugglers. Buddhist breakdancing. Angry Birds for preschoolers and video games for the depressed. Salman Rushdie is over Twitter. I am over my ex-favorite app. “Shame is the ultimate algorithm” -- unless you don't have any!
Until tomorrow! @caitlindewey
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