Spirit rush? More like SPIRIT CRUSH.

Today saw the release of two apps we have all been ANXIOUSLY WAITING for. The first: Emojli, the all-emoji social network, because human conversation hasn't devolved enough. The second: Somebody, a predictably zany "art piece" by the predictably zany Miranda July, which invites total strangers to deliver your friend's messages to you in person. That doesn't sound like a weird idea at all! Anyway, the weekend's calling, so let's do links:

1. DON'T check your work email this weekend. American workers spend 28 percent of their time reading emails, checking their inboxes an average of 74 times a day. That's kind of inhumane, TBH. And it's also surprisingly bad for productivity.

2. What it's like being the Internet's most popular porn star. "Lisa Ann" is a 42-year-old -- ahem -- MILF, and honey, she has *been* around this block before. "Reality TV, husbands and wives fighting on television, haggling housewives that are too rich for their own good -- there's a lot out there that's way worse than porn." Lol.

3. I watched Twitch so you don't have to. Even though there was a new Masterchef on Hulu last night, I spent several hours camped out in front of the South Korean League of Legends semifinals to bring you this report on Twitch's mainstream appeal. Spirit rush? More like SPIRIT CRUSH -- amirite?

Dory does the ice bucket challenge! Just kidding. Dory's taking a bath the only way she knows how: forcibly.

Pocketable: Seven day's in the world's largest, rowdiest retirement community ... which basically sounds like Cancun for old white people. (8837 words/35 minutes)

Postscripts: "No plans." Micro-houses. The emoji diet. 10 ways to spice up your relationship (with emoji) and 12 blockbuster Kickstarters that were (once) #1. Beyonce is not a poet. Mariah Carey is not a bad dog-mom. Anita Sarkeesian is not a "professional victim." Don't like clickbait? Then don't click! Whaaaat a concept.

Enjoy the long weekend! Until Tuesday,
@caitlindewey

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