"This message could not be delivered because it contains the phrase 'LOL.'"

If you can't beat them, don't join them. Just lose SO BADLY that your utter defeat becomes less of a tragedy and more of a ... funny joke! This is the philosophy of the fine people at Botto Bistro in Richmond, Calif., who -- frustrated by the impossibility and capriciousness of Yelp reviews -- have actually launched a campaign to become the worst-rated restaurant possible. More than a very clever/hilarious marketing stunt, Botto Bistro's campaign is a rare touch of whimsy on an issue typically overrun by sincerity and outrage. Thank you, Botto Bistro. The Internet needs more like you. On that note, the links!

1. How sugar daddies finance college education. More than 2.3 million women are on the site Seeking Arrangement, trading dates (... and other favors) for the $ of rich older men. Of those 2.3 million, 44 percent are college students -- a trend the site encourages.

2. How Internet sleuths help -- and hurt -- police investigations. Earlier this week, a Twitter troll/hero in Philly helped police crack a really grim hate crime case. And even as I type, amateur social media detectives are searching for missing UVA sophomore Hannah Graham. But the record of Internet sleuths is actually pretty spotty, and it's unclear whether they do more harm than good. (We all remember r/bostonbombings!)

3. Internet error messages we actually need. "45.2.2 UNAUTHORIZED: Sorry, this message could not be delivered because it contains the phrase 'LOL' and the recipient is an adult."

New favorite Instagram of all time: This pug.

Pocketable: Charity Johnson is 34 ... and has spent years pretending to be a high-schooler. (5518 words/22 minutes)

Postscripts: DILFs of Disney. Drinks of Denny's. Similarly useless sites. What it's like to be a porn star on Tinder and what it's like to be a "muse" on Craigslist. Is 2014 the year of bad sex, or the year we let the Russians win? Today, in science: midnight snacks, Jesus toasts, pessimistic pups, and sci-fi spin.

Enjoy the weekend! Until Monday,
@caitlindewey

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