Uniquely modern horrors

The average young woman spends five hours per week on her selfies, according to a sketchy British survey I do not believe. Five hours, after all, is more time than most Americans spend on laundry or personal grooming. And without clean clothes or a lil make-up ... who the hell's taking selfies?

1. Could a robot ever write the perfect pop song? Probablyyy not, no. But it's not that crazy of an idea, as far as AI goes! Computers can, after all, already write articles and recipes. They're just not always good, necessarily.

2. How do we still not know the identity of Bitcoin's creator? It's one of the most confounding mysteries of our time, and it's not getting any clearer. Many suspect the enigmatic "Satoshi Nakamoto" is actually a guy named Nick Szabo. In reality, however, we'll probably never know.

3. The uniquely modern horrors of a really common name. Alex Hern's regularly confused with other people. Which means he often gets their legal documents, online-dating sign-ups, and personal emails. :-/

I've literally watched this GIF 100 times and still don't know what causes him to fall off the log.

Pocketable: The real teenz of Silicon Valley. (6062 words/24 minutes)

Postscripts: "Grand Theft Uber." Bat burritos. Kevin Spacey as a cat. Emoji are now work-approved, and I'm okay with that! How streaming actually helps some artists. How to fall asleep when you can't. An interview with the Twitter "genius" renowned for being sad. We already knew big data was out of control, but this is extra creepy. Finally, TODAY, in things we don't need: a drunk-shopping app and Instagrammable Chili's.

Enjoy the weekend! Until Monday,
@caitlindewey

Do you like this newsletter? Please send it to a friend! If you don't like this newsletter, please send it to an enemy.