We can’t print this in the Washington Post, but ...

Do you think your Internet sucks? Welp, it probably does! I know you’re just here for the GIFs, though, so you can read more on that from the brilliant Max Ehrenfreund. Here’s what’s cool on the interwebs today:
1. “Twyttere ys a space for creacioun and art,” according to Geoffrey Chaucer, who is, you know … not actually on Twitter. But Pacific Standard has a pretty charming read on the many faux-Twitter accounts of famous literary figures and the devoted (fanatical?) people who maintain them.
2. What do teenagers do online? I’m not convinced anyone over 20 has any actual clue. But if anyone did, it would be Microsoft’s danah boyd, who has spent years researching the social media habits of that impenetrable culture we call “teen.”
3. “Binge-watching is lame and lonely” -- Internet-savvy contrarian trolling for hate-clicks. Like this guy!

You break it you bought it...?
Postscripts: Quizzes are the new lists. Jeopardy hotties. Unrepentant glassholes. Things nobody asked for, ever: a video of a guy speed-eating burritos, a printed book of Wikipedia. Why is this random kid Internet-famous? What about this slice of pizza? Unwitting memes, parts 1 and 2. A lie detector for Twitter. “I’m dating a catfish” -- yikes. Very serious Tinder fails. We can't print this in the Washington Post, but I can say it here: y’all drop a fucking lot of f-bombs on the Internet. (Mom, it’s just a joke! I know you didn’t raise me to talk that way.)
Until tomorrow, @caitlindewey
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