YAAAAAAAAS!

If journalism doesn't work out, I'm opening a dog bakery. But if artisanal dog treats ALSO fall through, I think I've found a Plan C! Tumblr employs a full-time librarian -- literally, a librarian of memes. She has a Master's degree in library science and everything (!!!).

1. Why wasn't Siri called Siro, dammit? (Or whatever the male equivalent is.) There's something insidious, and kinda unpleasant, in AI assistants' feminine-ness. Maybe it's because women's voices stand out; maybe it's because we're used to bossing them around. Whatever it is, I'm gonna start calling Siri "Siro" now.

2. The stomach-turning Snapchat trend you haven't heard of yet. At nursing homes around the country, dozens of workers have filmed themselves abusing the elderly -- and then Snapchatted or texted it.

3. What makes "Discover Weekly" so damn good. In short, big data is magical.

I thought you guys wanted to...? oh (link)

Pocketable: Shkreli speaks!! (4682 words/19 minutes)

Postscripts: Kimoji. Drake cakes. Error 451. If food hacking's the future, the future is fun. How the porn business confronts abuse and what the most popular Instagrams mean. The rise, and fall, AND resurgence, of the cult game "Star Wars Galaxies." How Internet fetishists killed a corporate mascot. The problem with Facebook photo tagging. The year of emoji and -- also! -- the quest to change them behind the scenes. The second coming of Christian apps; the Fruits of the Web. Does Clinton talk like a teen online? Survey says: why, YAAAAAAAAS!

Until tomorrow,
@caitlindewey

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