You're always missing out.

Just when I feared my beloved hometown would never recover from the undeserved (well, sometimes deserved) heaps of bad press raining down upon it, the AP sends this dispatch from Western New York -- *clears throat* -- "Island near Buffalo overrun by hundreds of cats."

Perfect, right?? Surely Buzzfeed will publish a listicle on the cats of Tonawanda Island, and Buffalo will become a major tourist destination for semi-ironic Internet-types, and all will be well in the world. Phew. ALTERNATELY, another media outlet will, on the very same day, publish another article about another island full of cats, and that island will be profoundly more picturesque and "magical" -- magical! -- than the one in New York. I don't get it. How many cat islands can the planet/24-hour-news-cycle possibly contain. Until next time, WNY...

1. Meet the man who prosecutes "emotional hackers." When someone publishes revenge porn, steals nude photos, or otherwise creeps on an unsuspecting victim, the guy who steps in is Wesley Hsu. Unfortunately, Hsu can only do so much. And sometimes, he can't do anything at all.

2. Is spam ever free speech? It's kind of a ridiculous premise, to the contemporary reader. But less than a decade ago, plenty of people believed that unsolicited Viagra ads (and all their annoying ilk) were protected under the First Amendment ... which should sound an awful lot like some contentious debates re: Internet speech we're still having today.

3. Forget about "FOMO." When you see the world through your phone, you're always missing out.

This armadillo's name is Rollie. No kidding.

Pocketable: A "database of intentions" OR an exploration of Pinterest's deeper meaning/motives. (4241 words/17 minutes)

Postscripts: Pangopups. Dog gyms. DNC emoji. This is the chillest man on Twitter and this is the nicest place online. These artists make the coolest GIFs. This scientist makes the weirdest ice cream. How to save news. How to cybersex. How to ... die?. (Hm.) Big data is overrated; Big Data is not. Why does "Fancy" get stuck in my head?! ("Tried that; decided to become a saint instead.")

Until tomorrow,
@caitlindewey

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