You should have another drink.

Slow news day, huh? :( :( :(

In case some of you work in jobs that do not permit you to browse the Internet all day (which, I mean, what the hell kind of job is that) here's a Voxified version of today's events: two p. significant people died; a plane from an apparently accursed airlines was shot down over Ukraine; Israel launched a straight-up war; and Microsoft laid off a zillion people. Oh, also, today's World Emoji Day. WHEW. What is this madness. Some levity in the links:

1. How to be a better online reader. Read, for one thing. (Don't give me that look. I know y'all just skim over the bold sections and go straight for the GIF.) Research suggests we can comprehend digital content just as well as we do print -- but only if we approach it with "the necessary thoughtfulness."

2. On the "nice" -- a.k.a. WORST -- Internet. Sites like Thought Catalog, Upworthy and ViralNova claim to promote a kinder, cuddlier web. But actually they just fill out Facebook timelines with drivel. And make me want to punch someone.

3. Lessons on the dark web, from an Internet drug dealer. Always buy in Bitcoin, be wary of centralized marketplaces, and never ever assume that you're safe.

We've all been this puppy, tbqh.

Postscripts: 3D-printed ice cream. Kama the Surfing Pig. Why you shouldn't blowtorch a spider and why you should have another drink. The science of tripping. The mathematics of shopping. The linguistics of emoji. How the ramen and the clickbait are made. Jason Biggs remains my least-favorite human. (No one's lel-ing at that, brah.)

Until tomorrow!
@caitlindewey

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