Oh I'm so sorry you went through this. I'll confess I kind of did the same thing. The Sims is my time killer and after my miscarriage, I tuned out the world and played with my stupid virtual families. Something about those little pixel babies helped me pull the band-aid off so it got easier to, for example, walk through Target's baby aisle without bursting into tears. Grief is weird. Thank you for sharing, this makes me feel a lot less alone.
Oh man, the Target baby aisle -- I identify with that *so* strongly and specifically. I'm so sorry for your loss. But there are a lot of us out there. 💔
Thank you for sharing this experience - this will be so meaningful to so many. Loss of this kind is so hard to process and something that helps to give it a shape may be so helpful. Look after yourself x
Oh Caitlin, I'm so sorry for your losses. This was a very moving and beautiful piece of writing. It took genuine strength and courage to write this.
When a close writer friend of mine lost her mom recently, I sent her my copy of Roland Barthes's "Mourning Diary," a book that is explicitly about the grammar of mourning and grief at the loss of his mother. But it is also about the grammar of mothering. It may be too soon for you to read now, but a lot of it has to do with tenses —how hard it is for the mind to embrace the change of verb tense of a loved one.
Reading about your experience with Remini, I was reminded of both Steven Spielberg's 2001 film A.I. and Kazuo Ishiguro's 2021 novel Klara and the Sun , both of which raise the possibility that what humans want most from A.I.—connectedness, functionality, and (most of all!) problem solving without "emotivity" or reminders of our own mortality—may say more about us than we'd care to admit.
This was the best piece you've done since launching this Substack. I'm sure it must not have been easy to write.
Oh I'm so sorry you went through this. I'll confess I kind of did the same thing. The Sims is my time killer and after my miscarriage, I tuned out the world and played with my stupid virtual families. Something about those little pixel babies helped me pull the band-aid off so it got easier to, for example, walk through Target's baby aisle without bursting into tears. Grief is weird. Thank you for sharing, this makes me feel a lot less alone.
Oh man, the Target baby aisle -- I identify with that *so* strongly and specifically. I'm so sorry for your loss. But there are a lot of us out there. 💔
Such a beautiful essay and I'm so sorry for what you've had to navigate. Sending you love and strength. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing this experience - this will be so meaningful to so many. Loss of this kind is so hard to process and something that helps to give it a shape may be so helpful. Look after yourself x
I'm so sorry for your losses.
It's really generous to share this, and I'm so sorry for your losses.
Oh Caitlin, I'm so sorry for your losses. This was a very moving and beautiful piece of writing. It took genuine strength and courage to write this.
When a close writer friend of mine lost her mom recently, I sent her my copy of Roland Barthes's "Mourning Diary," a book that is explicitly about the grammar of mourning and grief at the loss of his mother. But it is also about the grammar of mothering. It may be too soon for you to read now, but a lot of it has to do with tenses —how hard it is for the mind to embrace the change of verb tense of a loved one.
Reading about your experience with Remini, I was reminded of both Steven Spielberg's 2001 film A.I. and Kazuo Ishiguro's 2021 novel Klara and the Sun , both of which raise the possibility that what humans want most from A.I.—connectedness, functionality, and (most of all!) problem solving without "emotivity" or reminders of our own mortality—may say more about us than we'd care to admit.
This was the best piece you've done since launching this Substack. I'm sure it must not have been easy to write.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful writing 🩷