Not much seems to have happened
Virtual embassies, viral rip-offs, money-as-personality, TED talks, dick scenes and gazpacho police
Hi friends. Today is February 11, 2022.
And today we’re talking about the world’s “first virtual embassy,” which Barbados will purportedly open soon in the metaverse.
This raises a lot of questions, like: What does one do at a virtual embassy? Can they issue visas or notarize documents or proffer pricey spreads of imported ham and champagne? And — maybe most importantly, at least in my trivia-trammeled mind — what the hell happened to the real first virtual embassies, which opened in Second Life 15 years ago this May?
This is ancient history, in internet years and otherwise, so let’s begin with a brief recap. The year was 2007. The place — “place” — was Second Life, then population 6.5 million. Sweden, long renowned for its afternoon coffee breaks, flat-pack furniture and early adoption of digital technologies, had announced plans to “promote the Nordic state’s image and culture” through a Second Life Embassy. But the Maldives, of all places, suddenly swept in and opened one first. (“Second Life sparks diplomatic row,” reported one UK tabloid, although in truth the Swedes didn’t seem that perturbed. Theirs opened a bit later.)
Neither the Maldivian nor Swedish Second Life embassies technically did a whole lot. Visitors could talk to a “virtual diplomat” in the Maldives, for instance, but couldn’t access consular services, virtual or not. The space hosted at least one virtual press conference, still memorialized on YouTube, in which pixelated, dead-eyed avatars talk about the climate crisis.
The Swedish embassy, meanwhile — which cost $57,000 and replicated the country’s embassy in Washington — briefly hosted art exhibitions, language classes, a single film festival and lots of unusable Ikea furniture. Sweden actually staffed the space for two years, and foreign visitors could drop in and ask the sorts of questions about Scandinavian life and culture they might otherwise ask Google.
The goal for both these virtual embassies, however, was more about making the news than breaking new diplomatic frontiers. Sweden, in particular, ran an ongoing, dedicated PR campaign meant to introduce the country to “progressive” foreign audiences. Reached by email, one of the leads on the Swedish embassy project told me it was envisioned as an act of “public diplomacy.” (In other, blunter words: a publicity stunt.) After the initial media attention faded, both around the embassy and Second Life itself, the project petered out.
The Barbadian embassy could be different, but it very conspicuously draws on the same PR motivations. Like Maldives, Barbados is a “small country … well known as a tourist destination … that has experienced rapid economic, social and political development.” Like many of its Caribbean peers, it is also transparently eager to attract foreign tech investors and crypto enthusiasts.
In interviews, H.E. Gabriel Abed — a Barbadian ambassador, the force behind the metaverse project, and (naturally!) the founder of a crypto start-up — has indicated that he’s learned from Maldives and Sweden’s mistakes: among other things, he’s said Barbados is negotiating for land in Decentraland, Somnium Space and SuperWorld, making it less platform-dependent than earlier virtual embassies.
The Barbadian ministry of foreign affairs will also own the virtual land, he told Coindesk, which is “fundamentally different than what we had seen in the past.” Even better, Barbados has promised it will offer and process e-visas — much more like a real embassy than a trendy demonstration.
But e-visas and blockchain may not be enough to make virtual embassies compelling or sustainable. Much like the Second Life projects, accessing Barbados’ home in Decentraland will not have much initial utility or purpose, and won’t be convenient for most people. Why would you open a crypto wallet, sign up for an account, create an avatar and navigate to a virtual location … just to watch a press conference you could also see on YouTube? And what practical advantage does any of this have over, say … a regular website accessed from ye olde internet browser?
“Even though 15 years has passed since we built Second House of Sweden, not much seems to have happened,” the Swedish-embassy-maker said. “There is talk about a Metaverse, but l haven't seen anything yet that convinces me that we are closer to that than in 2007.”
If you read anything this weekend
“How Telegram Became the Anti-Facebook,” by Darren Loucaides in Wired. It it honestly, endlessly *wild* to me that we spend so much time fretting about Spotify and Facebook when a platform like Telegram still exists with hardly any moderation at all. The messaging app, which is used by more than 400 million people around the world, is staffed by only 30. And issues of disinformation, hate speech, extremism, etc., aren’t all that urgent to CEO Pavel Durov, the app’s mysterious, fish-eating “philosopher king.”
“The Internet Turned ‘Money’ into a Hobby,” by Rebecca Jennings in Vox. Crypto, retail trading and sports-betting all exploded during the pandemic, fueled by dreams of easy riches and government stimulus checks. In the process, all three money-making gambles essentially became games — and games are definitely personalities for many, many Americans.
“What Was the TED Talk?,” by Oscar Schwartz in The Drift. Not just an overpriced launch pad for aspiring “thought influencers,” apparently, but a pulpit for an empty (and still ubiquitous) techno-optimist worldview: “Amid seemingly intractable problems here on Earth … substanceless promises of space travel, crypto-utopias, and eternal life in the cloud may become the only things to look forward to.”
“Revisiting Threes, 2048, and the Endless Chain of Ripoffs,” by Kevin Nguyen in The Verge. There’s nothing new under the sun or on the internet, as the recent outbreak of Wordle clones made exhaustingly plain, and the Verge has a great package out this week probing the contested depths of digital ownership and originality. There’s this remembrance of the 2048 v. Threes brouhaha, which readers of a certain age will remember well; I also rec this report on the emerging (scammy!) industry of “drop-servicing” and this glimpse into designers’ fast-fashion knock-off hell.
“An Incomplete History of Forbes.com as a Platform for Scams, Grift, and Bad Journalism,” by Joshua Benton in Nieman Lab. This is equal parts cringey, hilarious and frighteningly indicative of wider rot on contributor platforms, and I’m not just talking about the Forbes contributor/rapper(??!)/tech CEO who was recently arrested in a Bitcoin theft scandal.
👉 ICYMI: The most-clicked link from last week’s newsletter was this comical (and comically long!!) read on Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers.
THE MEDIA CLASSIFIED ADS
This edition of Links is powered by the new Jack Reacher on Amazon, a non-alcoholic beer so surprisingly un-gross I’m referral-linking to it so I can get more, *and* the following paid advertisers:
► Spr1tz is a new IRL/URL startup: Perfume ketchup. Odorous NFTs. Smelly DAO. Access to the product - perfume gel in ketchup packets - is exclusive to Spr1tz NFT holders, who will also act as DAO members, navigating the brand’s next steps. Click to sniff HERE.
►Engage with top media executives and content creators from Google, Conde Nast, and Advance Publications. Enroll in “Growing Your Content Business,” a new 10-week live online course from Univ of Oregon and media industry journalist Simon Owens. Sign up before February 20 and get the early discount!
📣📣 Want to promote your job opening / pitch call / new project / ecommerce brand to thousands of hyper-engaged readers? Consider a classified ad! Links is partnering with Study Hall and Words of Mouth on a shared ad system that connects you with up to 40,000+ subscribers at flexible price points. Craft the perfect ad and we’ll take care of the rest. Interested? Click through for rates, testimonials, and to get in touch.
Postscripts
“The internet’s most exciting place to eat.” The online spaces (1 & 2) where people roleplay politicians. This week, in personal improvement: changing your personality and cracking a phone addiction. The debate over AI audiobook narrations. Just doing my part to prop the wine industry up. It turns out some Canadian truckers are not Canadian and … do not in fact drive trucks!
Melania Trump bought her own NFT. Reese Witherspoon did not. For the love of god and also retirement, don’t take financial advice from TikTok. These birds *really* are not real. It’s not just you: There are more dicks. How to stream the Oscar nominees and where to find the best narration of the Olympics. Supreme is dead; tears of joy are alive (likewise, somehow … MoviePass?). Meet the bros behind Bored Apes. A tool that sends emails straight to spam. The crypto backlash is booming. Peloton’s pedaling off a cliff. Last but not least, in silver linings: At least it wasn’t the Christian station!
That’s it for this week! Until the next one. Warmest virtual regards.
— Caitlin