GOOD NEWS, Dog People of the Internet: The darkest dogspiracy of our time has been debunked. There is (almost definitely) no way that someone pulled a bark-and-switch with Hank the Ballpark Pup. Hank, as I learned this week, is an adopted bichon frise and the mascot of the Milwaukee Brewers. He was also recently killed and/or stolen and replaced with a lookalike, per his truthers.